Monday, 1 January 2018

Who the hell am I?

Write what you know, write what you love, try and create unique interesting content. Them's the rules.

When I started blogging back in Sept 2017, I never realised how cathartic it could be. We all have a story to tell, some more interesting than others of course but the person I am today, well that's taken a hell of a lot of work. I'm sitting here at 21 minutes past midnight, so basically in the first few minutes of 2018 (nope I'm not drinking and this post wasn't pre-scheduled), with Queen Live at Wembley (1986) banging in the background throwing this short post together.

Looking back over the last 15 years and remembering some of the kind words my bestman Val Scallan-Walsh said at my wedding 13 months ago, I've accomplished so much and am really proud of where I am today. This year was tough, my mum was very sick since summer 2016. She was diagnosed with cancer and survived that to then have a stroke in March 2017. It's been tough going and Noel and I never really got a chance to enjoy our first year of marriage. We had a short holiday to Gran Canaria last summer but still haven't got to New York for our official honeymoon so we hope to do that this year.

But, I've had the story of my life, growing up in Wexford as a gay man and the challenges that brought with it bouncing around in my head for a while and my blog gave me the opportunity to finally get the story out of my head and onto paper. It's written in 3 parts:

Part 1 - HERE
Part 2 - HERE
Part 3 - HERE

And I've also blogged about my love of Science Fiction & Star Trek which also gives a little insight into myself - HERE.

It's kind of scary verbalising you thoughts and ideas, like a smaller version of coming out. The first time you come out you are caking it but when it's over you wonder what the hell you were concerned about. (my advice take a deep breath and go for it). The same thing happens when you voice your opinion on the World Wide Web, you prepare yourself for ridicule and hope for the best. Click publish and see what happens. Thankfully, my experience has been great the last 4 months but I'm sure I'll get trolled at some stage. Hay Ho, that's the way it goes! And as if Freddie himself is looking down on me, he starts singing...Under Pressure on TV!

I know at this stage I am very lucky, I'm at a stage in my life that I don't care what people think of me and if they want to say something to my face, well bitch...buckle up for a ride. But with that attitude in mind, I can't imagine what it's like for a young gay person today. They see lots of strong gay characters around them, not afraid to stand up for who they are and who they love, but, they must question themselves and wonder if they will ever be like that. The thing is, every gay person that is strong, positive and assertive has gone on a journey of discovery. There is no quick fix, those young people of today will have to make that same difficult journey and hopefully come out on the right side. All I can hope is that it will be a little easier for them and hope my friends and I have made that journey a little easier. If you are reading this and need someone to talk/text check out the LGBT helpline, all details here...

Also check out this book, it's a fantastic read about Simon a young teen coming out (movie getting released this March) - HERE

Please comment below and share your journey of coming out (or give a link if you blogged about it).  Also comment if you know of any good services/drop in centers for LGBT.  Thanks.

Anyway, I'm signing off with another one of Freddie's lines...

John The Captain Ryan

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