History is all you left me by Adam Silvera (Book Review)

A beautifully written book, heartfelt, touching and simply amazing.

As I was reading this book I was astonished at the number of beautiful passages and phrases. Except for the fact I was reading a library book I would have had my highlighter out to deface the book (and that’s something normally sacrilegious to me, I was raised to respect books, and never even fold the corner of the page down).

What strikes me most about this book is that even though it is aimed at young adults it deals with a mature subject in an amazing way, gone are the times that we tip-toe around a subject and disrespect the readership. It is heartfelt, touching and real. This is something I normally wouldn’t do in a review (and I will be doing a more in depth analysis when I get my hands on my own copy that I can deface), here is one of the striking passages that astounded me. Simple but powerful.

“It’s been a month since the universe lost you. One month since you woke up in the morning. One month since you opened a book. One month since you ate a meal. One month since you keyed a text message. One month since you went for a walk. One month since you held a hand. One month since you kissed your boyfriend. One month since you thought of a future that’s not happening. One month since you dreamed up your own alternative universe.

It’s been one month since you died.

It’s been one month since you lived.”

The short sticatto sentences are brutal and honest. In one paragraph we learn so much about Theo. The last sentence is just perfect. Sums up the whole book really. It’s been one month since you lived.

So ... the plot ...

This is a book that charts the journey of Griffin who has lost his first love Theo. Thankfully Theo hasn’t died by taking his own life as a lot of YA LGBT books are written about (with good reason of course because it is happening – see my recent blog about the death of Jamel Myles). However, Griffin lost Theo a year before his death as he moved to college and found another boyfriend – Jackson. Griffin spends most of the book talking in his mind to Theo; again, the conversations are real and heartfelt, although of course somewhat one-sided.

One thing you need to do is read the chapter heading each time. Alternate chapters jump between the now and Griffin telling us things that happened in the past, i.e. the history that was left. Just reading one of those two words – TODAY or HISTORY – helps your mind to place the events in chronological order. And, I must say, I like it. The author makes it easier for you to place the events in order so you can concentrate more on the story. A simple but important task that sometimes authors forget whilst they weave their tale.

Griffin and Jackson have a fraught relationship with each other and yet they both help each other get through the worst thing that has ever happened to them. The book deals with the loss in a fantastic way as it celebrates the short life that Theo led. We also briefly travel on the journey with Theo’s parents and sister. What could be a harrowing story is lifted by the magical moments that Griffin remembers between Theo & himself.  

Griffin has other problems too, has an OCD with people being on his left so when walking down the street the person has to be to his right and he won’t even sit in the passenger seat of the car as the driver will be to his left. He has an OCD/phobia of odd numbers which coupled with the loss of Theo leads him to breakdown on a few occasions. I think that’s what makes this book so realistic. It’s not canned or stereotypical loss and how one deals with it. To me it’s more realistic because of these unique characteristics. When we all have to deal with loss, different things will make us emotional and close to breaking down. It could be someone wearing the same scent of your loved one, a forgotten memento from a day out found in the bottom of the sock drawer or simply lying in bed alone without them. The author describes perfectly what it's like living with an OCD/phobia that starts ruling your whole life.

Both boys feel responsible for Theo’s death and it’s only when they speak with Theo’s parents that they can reconcile this guilt and blame. Both Griffin and Jackson have difficulty dealing with their emotions and, predictable; end up alienating their best friends who could have helped them through the mess. By the end of the book, these bridges of friendship are being rebuilt, Griffin is building better with Wade (Griffin, Wade & Theo were best friends for years before any relationship blossomed) but I like the fact that these relationships are not rebuilt perfectly. They are a work-in-progress, rather like the whole book. By the end of the book Griffin & Jackson don’t have a happily-ever-after Disney finishing but there is hope.

I have no hesitation giving this book a 10 out of 10 planets. It’s a beautifully written story of grief, rebuilding and hope. A must read.

John The Captain Ryan

Other LGBT books I have reviewed are

Queens of Geek by Jen Wilde HERE

When Everything Feels Like the Movies by Raziel Reid HERE

Noah Can't Even by Simon James Green HERE

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli HERE 

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan HERE

Willful Machines by Tim Floreen HERE